Fissure

The water is rising above the seams,
A trickle leaks over transparency,
Right off the limits that hold it back,
Past the confinements,
Breaking through boundaries.
It falls over and leaves a mark,
Permanent,
Irreversible,
Unchanging.
The mark already formed,
The deed done,
So what is there to hold back for?
The trickle unminded,
The crack unfixed,
Turning waves into rising tides,
Agonies of water,
Washing over,
Leaving nothing,
Not even the mark.

You & Me

You are my perfection,
Not just an image.
You run through me like a silken fold,
Knitted in pleats into my skin,
Racing through my heart.
Its shelves hold your presence,
Each one heavy with your weight in gold.
Just lie there, softly,
Tender yet bold.
Stay there, for me,
Corner my soul.
Move, yet don't,
Each shudder is mine.
And just like that,
In a way unknown,
With each breath, each beat,
You make me alive.

And then there was a Pitchfork..

Cages of velvet with shackles of silk,
Words passing by filled with scorn to the hilt,
Hitting rock bottom on unstable grounds,
Fighting for choices and yet to be found.
Ropes for support turned to angry chains,
Gentle guidance lost in whips and canes,
Reasons that argue for better for worse,
Reasons, limitations, spitting a curse.
Looming above, forceful and firm,
Coaxing with curses, filthy and stern,
Clashing and clanging, from one to the next,
Eroded and rusty, no choice left, perplexed.
Tonguing and screaming, uneared through and through,
Shrieking for purpose, for what is believed 'true',
Fighting for right, fighting for sin,
Pushing right back, from without, from within.
Gold and futures, all in white sacks,
Smeared with ashes along stubborn tracks,
To learn is easy if given the right try,
And so shedding two tears, hearing these cries,
Only to see who has to give in,
Only to know what's given in print:
Such ships with stiff anchors rarely will sink,
Until you fill them with hate, right to the brink.

Run away

It's a step away, just a step,
Standing on the edge, the edge of what feels like forever,
Looking at those eyes, so close, so distant.
A flicker, a flash..and your world could fall apart,
Would you take the chance?
Would you hold your hand out and risk the fall?
Behind you lies the distance, the distance your heart traveled,
The distance you never thought you'd go,
The length of which you would never travel,
But you did.
Just this once, you took that chance,
And this is what it comes down to - the plunge.
Those eyes, those daggers you fear, those chains that hold you there,
They ignite the light in you, they gave you the strength to get by the distance,
They were the reason you would have, you should have, turned away,
And the reason you didn't.
Looking up, you measure the depth of the fall into those eyes,
And you take the step into forever,
To be scarred. Forever.

Walk on fire

It's funny how humans try and find temporary happiness, ephemeral solace in so many things - art, love, leisure, music - anything to keep the days passing by. It's only some of us who seek and understand true beauty - true beauty in the form of something everlasting, something eternal, unaffected and untouched by time, something that stays with us for as long as we live, and beyond our own lives. Beauty is not confined to an object, to a solid form that rests in front of our eyes, absorbing and reflecting light to form the three dimensions that we live in. It is a feeling that goes beyond our dimensions, it is the thought that lingers into the fourth. It is not the look of a fair maiden but the look of a lover that sets his eyes upon her, that makes her beauty true and wholesome. It is not the glow of your skin but the scars on your palms that are etched into forever, that reform your pains which stay even after you are long gone. It is not the love you feel for someone when they reach their hand out to you, it is the divine feeling of being able to hold their hand forever, even after your hand is no more.
Anything that goes beyond time, that flows alongside the rivers of eternity, has true beauty. Anything that time can touch yet not effect..is true beauty, is true immorality, and it is for those feelings, those sensations that we should live, not for the petty joys of a material world, but the transcendence of a world where clocks would tick, but in the fade away of the background.

You don't always have to be strong

Hold me, so I can cry a million tears in your arms.
Quickly, before the moment goes away,
Before I let it pass me by,
Before it spins away in the distance,
Before reality knocks on the windows of my life
And I realise that it's just a dream,
That your arms are never there,
That with this break of dawn,
The sun's the only warmth I'll ever have.
So just hold me,
In this moment.
Please don't let it pass me by..

Dedication

Sometimes someone walks into your life,
By chance, as fate would have it be.
Of all the people walking by,
Just one entangles with your destiny.

As stars that shine the velvet night skies,
As sand grains on the palm beach shores,
As death and birth we all go through,
As water droplets line our ocean floors,

I know you'll be right by my side,
For as long as you don't let me go.
I can count on you for anything,
It's your words that make me so sure.

And now I come to these last words,
None of which can hold what you mean to me,
So never change, always be bold,
Always be exactly what you want to be,

Because the world's measure is not what counts,
It's the people in your heart that make you stand,
The ones who don't judge what you do or say,
The ones who'll just always be there to hold your hand.

Tears of steel

It stems from the inside and seeps through my soul,
It leaves me with these tears, these tears that I hold,
Deep in my heart, never let out,
Deep in these walls, never reaching my mouth.
To think we were close, to think I even tried,
To think because of you, a little part of me died.
And then you throw those words, like arrows to my heart,
It hits hard right there, piercing through, leaving scars.
But maybe I should step back, as I just always do,
Maybe I should give up trying, give up on you,
Because I don't see your warmth, I feel a cold, cold stare.
I laid myself out for you, how can you tell me it's unfair?

Unjudged Acceptance

There was an ocean, forms of blue merged as one,
It sunk deep into hearts like a blade, sometimes like a stone,
Leaving scars aplenty, it scorched each surface it touched,
But for one.
It's power, unfathomable, reaching beyond mortal,
Into the charms of time and intertwined with light,
Spreading its tentacles, breaching all limits,
But for one.
For each ray of life it takes, leading down in endless paths,
Circles of hope and fires of savior beneath lay crushed,
Leaving only ruins of cause, ending in destruction of all,
But for one.
Where the fear of the impossible was engulfed,
Where the unfathomable was unchallenged and free to run,
Where the heart of a spirit accepted this power,
The one, untouched, stayed lingering, into the times to come.

It's in you.

Everyone, regardless of how saintly their intentions be, finds reason to blame another. The best of us do it lesser, but the average man throws fault at everyone around them. Why did things go wrong? Where did it fall apart? Who did this to me? It's always someone else. Something happens, and there we go, hunting like scavengers for the reason, why did this happen to me? We follow our footsteps into the past until we find someone else's intertwined in ours, that led us to the path we are on. Those footsteps are the culprits. Yours were led onto the path you tread on right now, it was all because of those footsteps that you went off course. And crashed.
Few of us take a turn from our self-absorbed thoughts and realise that everything that happens, everthing, is self-determined. You are the one that controls your destiny. You are the cause for your pain, for your sorrow. You make yourself happy, you bring to your feet the ghost of contempt. If something went wrong, the footsteps of the past do nothing but give you something to shield yourself from your demons, your vices. It is this mask that endangers you, it's this curtain of oblivion that gives you happiness of the worst kind, happiness that is temporary, happiness that you yourself eventually will lose. Nothing can save you but yourself. You are your own god.

Monastery

There you sit, your throne of thorns,
Watching, observing, pick and choose,
Sitting, unmoving, trying to win.
Unsettled, restless, you leave me.
Purposeless, or maybe just self-content,
Nothing obtained, nothing undone.
Your faces they turn, intense,
Each face a new thorn,
Pricking and prodding,
Etching its lines, on my hands.
On these hands that are perfection,
These hands that bear your whips.
Pretending that you hold a wand,
On that very throne, you stay,
Your scepter will soon lose its charm,
As I turn and walk away.

Staring at the sun

Undefined, is what it feels.
Inversions within.
The ice breaks water,
Tricklings of water,
Downpours heavily.
Hearts turn blue,
When the pour, such pour,
Gives shine to another.
Clouds now, covert rays,
Trying to pierce through,
Blocked by sight,
Stopped at sight.
Standing in the center,
Green everywhere,
Falling drops,
Just gushes here,
More clouds, covert rays,
Protecting eyes from suicide.

Confined No End

The touch of inifinity
As it crawls through time.
Absorbed explosions in a moment.
To the left lay shattered bits,
Old and worn out, yet wise,
To the right, the anewed,
Revived and alive, new born.
While the inifinite pierces on,
The borderlines lay still,
Arched through finite spaces,
Creating our forevers.
On those fences stay our worlds,
Perched on the brinks,
Balancing along,
Till with our last breaths,
We fall.

Don't hold on

Your footsteps, they echo,
As you turn and walk away.
You leave me blue, black somewhere.
A tangled coil chokes on,
Flipping, moving, shaking.
A silhoutte is all I see of you,
Turning into a dot, carved deep in my eyes.
Straining for more than pinpoint,
Yearning for more than what is.
I trace the outlines of silent memories,
Remove your sight from my brown eyes.
There are no words to say,
As I pour down your cheek,
Dripping to the floor in bits of chains.

Implicit

Wake up to sweet surrender,
When the earth blooms around us,
It's heaven with melting flowers,
And candles that corner the red.
A singular crash of two, a flicker,
Perfection inscribed on its palms.
Spirits of fall illuminate the sun,
With rays that pour through the window.
Velvet, pearls, all embossed,
None compare to this spring,
None compare to your warm arms,
Nor to this sweet surrender.

How to live

Forgive the sins, for they are your burdens if not,
Blame no one, for else they will be your pain,
Do all as said, for soon it will come back to you,
Live as a whole, as said, as done, as will.
Speak aloud, for your voice loses otherwise,
Make some peace, for war is all harm,
Hear yourself, for then you hear others,
Feel some pain, for it helps to learn.
Follow these, and you will know,
What you, and your own footprints hold.
Then maybe you will know how to live,
Never through else, but yourself.

On chains

Those words linger around for long,
For long enough as memory stays.
Try to forget what happened,
Try to remove the blame.
There is no turning around,
No going back to the start,
So now we have lives of yellow-black,
Under the moonlight of grey.
Our freedom is written on these chains,
Clamped tight, unmoved.
They make the fight harder,
They make you know real pain.
In the end, it is to know,
What is freedom if there are no chains?

Silken bits

I cannot face you,
You mean too much.
But if I do, I know,
How a mirror cracks to a million pieces,
This loose thread,
With which we hang,
Like a noose, will break.
And so I turn away to the trivials,
Making the noose tighter,
Making our noose thinner,
Just to shy away from you.
But the truth, what is the truth?
I lie to myself about you,
I lie to myself about me.
Somewhere I know,
I cannot face me.

Losing me

Sometimes it's easier to drown,
Letting the tide in, leaving the last breath.
Neck deep, and I still can't breathe.
I needed more time, just time,
And compassion, I needed.
I see myself,
Blinded by my perception.
Confounded! It is all in me.
Apologies do nothing now.
No tears come, they're tired of me too.

This labyrinth

Leave me alone,
as I weep in silence,
as I weep inside.
Lost in a web, the one I made.
The twists, each familiar, each known,
Leading me to places unfathomed.
I come here for gratification,
I want to leave it behind,
But it follows.
Like a shadow, it stays,
Like a scent, it lingers.
Winding turns, each going nowhere,
Only white, only ice.
I will stay here for long,
Till I carve a path,
The one with lights.
I pull you in too,
And then I stay longer,
To protect you I stay,
I hurt much longer.
Leave me to myself,
as I weep in silence.
Rush to me and save me,
And you meet this trap,
Rush and save me,
And you will see my labyrinth.

Onward

It's the time for tomorrow,
The tomorrow of change,
Wet eyes with coaxing gazes,
Bleeding words and angry faces.
Not again, it's soon to go.
Get up, you. March. Move.
Lend a hand, show some grace,
Get up, you. March. Move.
Soon there will be silence,
No speaking till you listen,
Listen to the silence,
As it tells you what to do.
My voice will play then,
In your head.
Get up, you. March. Move.
Oh, it's not the echoes,
It is not your conscience,
It is my voice. Her voice. Our voice.
In combined force, in togetherness.
We who own nothing,
We who eat what you choose,
We whose misery serves your diamonds,
We who stay out of your lives,
We will scream into your head,
Get up, you and make a move.

Where clichés were once original

Hear me, I scream,
Only echoes now.
Silences that whisper back to you,
Drowning noise never hurt that much.
They whisper back through you,
from within you, to you.
Voices are lost, words forgotten too,
Cobwebs were thought to be old,
But here, in the attics of time,
New dust form layers all over again.
The old renews, more history to everything,
A timeless wait, or a timeless finish?
In each, every voice is eventually lost,
Lost to the place where clichés were once original.

Invisible

I cannot see you,
Even though you stand before me.
I cannot feel you,
Even though your presence is beside me.
I cannot touch you,
Even though you stand by me.
I cannot reach you,
Even though your company surrounds me.
I will not seek you out,
For that's all we're worth now.

Undying sunset

There is war,
There is temptation,
There is greed,
There is corruption,
There is hate,
There is madness,
There is emptiness and sadness.
I see loss,
I see poverty,
I see hunger, desire and cruelty.
I see pain,
I see fire,
I see suffering in silence.
No more awareness,
No more kindness,
Just sparks of light ignited,
Only lost to all the darkness.
We are the killers,
We are to blame.
We try to stop it,
But it's all in vain.
No more sun,
No more shine,
Only nothing left inside.

It's always in the pieces.

And brick by brick I build this wall,
Brick by brick it grows.
Rising higher, reaching up..
Till I reach it no more.
There is no wind here,
There is no light,
Just leftover dust from days passed by.
I sit inside in silence and wait,
Wait till the day comes,
When brick by brick this wall comes down,
Brick by brick I am found.

Shopping for Indifference

It wasn't long before the reading of Julia's dad's will. Dressed in black, from forehead to chin, she stepped out of the car that brought her to the big building. The glass windows that she walked past reflected her image back to her as she strode across the big, marbled lobby of UNC Corporations. The receptionist got up to greet her, but with a simple wave of her hand she sat him back down. Walking past the sitting area, decorated with lush paintings and lit up in a warm glow, she reached the elevators. Her thin hand slid across the smooth wall to touch the button that instantly lit up to a gushing yellow. A small sigh escaped her throat as she stood and waited, her face blank and stolid, her insides in a frenzy of anguish. She stepped into the elevator as it arrived and disappeared behind the golden metallic doors, to reappear on the topmost 45th floor. The journey she had taken every Fridays after school seemed to somehow be more prolonged this time. Today, on the day he no longer existed, she finally entered the one room that was forbidden to her for as long as she could remember. The large table didn't seem that special anymore as she sat on side of the head of the table.
"Good evening. You must be Julia, Mr. Watters' daughter."
She turned around in a rush to see a man with his arm outstretched.
"Matthew Stevens, lawyer." He said, as she shooks hands with him.
And so it began, a mere half hour to summarise the division of an entire lifetime's worth.
Within a moment, the company was hers; 26 with a multinational responsibility, all for nothing, all undeserving. She was expecting a lot, but so much?
As soon as the hearing was over, with no one else in the room but her, the sole heir, she gathered everything she got with her, along with a neat, hand-typed letter from her father, and left the room in a blend of veiled emotions. Her face remained as before, black and stolid, but her insides now in a rage. She offered no words of farewell to the lawyer and left in silence.
The silence lasted long. Longer than she would have thought. She didn't know why she cared so much. Her thoughts wandered in the empty spaces. He must've done it so I could feel guilty, guilty about never looking back. And now that he's left it all for me...he thinks he's done his duty. I won't suffer for it! I won't take the company.
The chauffeur driven car left her at her 2 bedroom apartment. She fumbled for her keys as the letter from her father fell out of her bag onto the rained-down floor. She stared at it for a few moments, the black letters on the envelope staring back at her, challenging her. She recovered from her thoughts and entered the apartment, closed the door behind her and just stood there. Everything seemed slow motion.
Brandy. She needed brandy. She went across to her living room and poured herself a drink and lay down across the cushioned sofa...
The little girl came running across the playground, running with a huge grinning smile on her face. She stumbled along into the arms of the tall man, in a well tailored black suit. He picked her up and they started to walk across to a black limousine. The girl seemed happy, excited, cheerful and completely unaware of anything but this man, the one person that made her the happiest in the world. He was all she cared about. She tugged on his arm and pulled him away from the car and towards the playground. "Pleaaaaase?" He followed her as she ran across to the swings in the far corner of the playground and sat on one of them, smiling broadly. He started to give her a light tap on her back. She moved forward. Soon she was soaring through the air, higher and higher, faster and faster, happier and happier. And then everything went from white to red to a pitch black.
Light came gushing into her eyes, but not as soon as the tears, which came faster and in a surging bellow. Drop by drop, she shielded her eyes from the light. It was tough, trying to show indifference when you care so much more. She knew now that it was time to let go.
The fire needed more fuel. She went across to the storage and fed it some more. The wet parchment with black, typed writing was wedged in between the brown wood. She watched, again in silence, as the flames took over from there, dancing in shadows across her face, replacing her tears with a lighter feeling - redemption.

"Diamonds look horrible with mink scarves" they said.

Another year, another series of months, strings of days...chained together with one motto - survival. The world's not easy, nobody said it ever was. Competition, striving for more, money, power; it's all a part of our daily life, engraved into every nook and corner of this place we call Earth. Cities bustling and pouring with rapid energy, villages teeming with people trying to make something of themselves. Movement everywhere. And those that don't catch onto the fast pace get left behind to nothingness, maybe because they didn't succeed the way they were expected to, maybe because they didn't fulfill their goals, or maybe just because they didn't have goals to begin with.
For a life like that, it's not about now, it's about then, it's all about collecting and preserving for now, working hard for now, so that the later can be enjoyed to the fullest. Maybe it makes sense in some unearthly way, but why not enjoy the now and the then? Why not indulge in what exists in each second of time?
So in between the chaotic lifestyle of mankind, in the midst of this buzzing stampede we call life, I lay back and enjoy the moment as it exists, each one as it comes, each with its own savor, never once repenting, for in each of those moments I found life, true life.