Don't hold on

Your footsteps, they echo,
As you turn and walk away.
You leave me blue, black somewhere.
A tangled coil chokes on,
Flipping, moving, shaking.
A silhoutte is all I see of you,
Turning into a dot, carved deep in my eyes.
Straining for more than pinpoint,
Yearning for more than what is.
I trace the outlines of silent memories,
Remove your sight from my brown eyes.
There are no words to say,
As I pour down your cheek,
Dripping to the floor in bits of chains.

Implicit

Wake up to sweet surrender,
When the earth blooms around us,
It's heaven with melting flowers,
And candles that corner the red.
A singular crash of two, a flicker,
Perfection inscribed on its palms.
Spirits of fall illuminate the sun,
With rays that pour through the window.
Velvet, pearls, all embossed,
None compare to this spring,
None compare to your warm arms,
Nor to this sweet surrender.

How to live

Forgive the sins, for they are your burdens if not,
Blame no one, for else they will be your pain,
Do all as said, for soon it will come back to you,
Live as a whole, as said, as done, as will.
Speak aloud, for your voice loses otherwise,
Make some peace, for war is all harm,
Hear yourself, for then you hear others,
Feel some pain, for it helps to learn.
Follow these, and you will know,
What you, and your own footprints hold.
Then maybe you will know how to live,
Never through else, but yourself.

On chains

Those words linger around for long,
For long enough as memory stays.
Try to forget what happened,
Try to remove the blame.
There is no turning around,
No going back to the start,
So now we have lives of yellow-black,
Under the moonlight of grey.
Our freedom is written on these chains,
Clamped tight, unmoved.
They make the fight harder,
They make you know real pain.
In the end, it is to know,
What is freedom if there are no chains?

Silken bits

I cannot face you,
You mean too much.
But if I do, I know,
How a mirror cracks to a million pieces,
This loose thread,
With which we hang,
Like a noose, will break.
And so I turn away to the trivials,
Making the noose tighter,
Making our noose thinner,
Just to shy away from you.
But the truth, what is the truth?
I lie to myself about you,
I lie to myself about me.
Somewhere I know,
I cannot face me.

Losing me

Sometimes it's easier to drown,
Letting the tide in, leaving the last breath.
Neck deep, and I still can't breathe.
I needed more time, just time,
And compassion, I needed.
I see myself,
Blinded by my perception.
Confounded! It is all in me.
Apologies do nothing now.
No tears come, they're tired of me too.

This labyrinth

Leave me alone,
as I weep in silence,
as I weep inside.
Lost in a web, the one I made.
The twists, each familiar, each known,
Leading me to places unfathomed.
I come here for gratification,
I want to leave it behind,
But it follows.
Like a shadow, it stays,
Like a scent, it lingers.
Winding turns, each going nowhere,
Only white, only ice.
I will stay here for long,
Till I carve a path,
The one with lights.
I pull you in too,
And then I stay longer,
To protect you I stay,
I hurt much longer.
Leave me to myself,
as I weep in silence.
Rush to me and save me,
And you meet this trap,
Rush and save me,
And you will see my labyrinth.

Onward

It's the time for tomorrow,
The tomorrow of change,
Wet eyes with coaxing gazes,
Bleeding words and angry faces.
Not again, it's soon to go.
Get up, you. March. Move.
Lend a hand, show some grace,
Get up, you. March. Move.
Soon there will be silence,
No speaking till you listen,
Listen to the silence,
As it tells you what to do.
My voice will play then,
In your head.
Get up, you. March. Move.
Oh, it's not the echoes,
It is not your conscience,
It is my voice. Her voice. Our voice.
In combined force, in togetherness.
We who own nothing,
We who eat what you choose,
We whose misery serves your diamonds,
We who stay out of your lives,
We will scream into your head,
Get up, you and make a move.

Where clichés were once original

Hear me, I scream,
Only echoes now.
Silences that whisper back to you,
Drowning noise never hurt that much.
They whisper back through you,
from within you, to you.
Voices are lost, words forgotten too,
Cobwebs were thought to be old,
But here, in the attics of time,
New dust form layers all over again.
The old renews, more history to everything,
A timeless wait, or a timeless finish?
In each, every voice is eventually lost,
Lost to the place where clichés were once original.

Invisible

I cannot see you,
Even though you stand before me.
I cannot feel you,
Even though your presence is beside me.
I cannot touch you,
Even though you stand by me.
I cannot reach you,
Even though your company surrounds me.
I will not seek you out,
For that's all we're worth now.

Undying sunset

There is war,
There is temptation,
There is greed,
There is corruption,
There is hate,
There is madness,
There is emptiness and sadness.
I see loss,
I see poverty,
I see hunger, desire and cruelty.
I see pain,
I see fire,
I see suffering in silence.
No more awareness,
No more kindness,
Just sparks of light ignited,
Only lost to all the darkness.
We are the killers,
We are to blame.
We try to stop it,
But it's all in vain.
No more sun,
No more shine,
Only nothing left inside.

It's always in the pieces.

And brick by brick I build this wall,
Brick by brick it grows.
Rising higher, reaching up..
Till I reach it no more.
There is no wind here,
There is no light,
Just leftover dust from days passed by.
I sit inside in silence and wait,
Wait till the day comes,
When brick by brick this wall comes down,
Brick by brick I am found.

Shopping for Indifference

It wasn't long before the reading of Julia's dad's will. Dressed in black, from forehead to chin, she stepped out of the car that brought her to the big building. The glass windows that she walked past reflected her image back to her as she strode across the big, marbled lobby of UNC Corporations. The receptionist got up to greet her, but with a simple wave of her hand she sat him back down. Walking past the sitting area, decorated with lush paintings and lit up in a warm glow, she reached the elevators. Her thin hand slid across the smooth wall to touch the button that instantly lit up to a gushing yellow. A small sigh escaped her throat as she stood and waited, her face blank and stolid, her insides in a frenzy of anguish. She stepped into the elevator as it arrived and disappeared behind the golden metallic doors, to reappear on the topmost 45th floor. The journey she had taken every Fridays after school seemed to somehow be more prolonged this time. Today, on the day he no longer existed, she finally entered the one room that was forbidden to her for as long as she could remember. The large table didn't seem that special anymore as she sat on side of the head of the table.
"Good evening. You must be Julia, Mr. Watters' daughter."
She turned around in a rush to see a man with his arm outstretched.
"Matthew Stevens, lawyer." He said, as she shooks hands with him.
And so it began, a mere half hour to summarise the division of an entire lifetime's worth.
Within a moment, the company was hers; 26 with a multinational responsibility, all for nothing, all undeserving. She was expecting a lot, but so much?
As soon as the hearing was over, with no one else in the room but her, the sole heir, she gathered everything she got with her, along with a neat, hand-typed letter from her father, and left the room in a blend of veiled emotions. Her face remained as before, black and stolid, but her insides now in a rage. She offered no words of farewell to the lawyer and left in silence.
The silence lasted long. Longer than she would have thought. She didn't know why she cared so much. Her thoughts wandered in the empty spaces. He must've done it so I could feel guilty, guilty about never looking back. And now that he's left it all for me...he thinks he's done his duty. I won't suffer for it! I won't take the company.
The chauffeur driven car left her at her 2 bedroom apartment. She fumbled for her keys as the letter from her father fell out of her bag onto the rained-down floor. She stared at it for a few moments, the black letters on the envelope staring back at her, challenging her. She recovered from her thoughts and entered the apartment, closed the door behind her and just stood there. Everything seemed slow motion.
Brandy. She needed brandy. She went across to her living room and poured herself a drink and lay down across the cushioned sofa...
The little girl came running across the playground, running with a huge grinning smile on her face. She stumbled along into the arms of the tall man, in a well tailored black suit. He picked her up and they started to walk across to a black limousine. The girl seemed happy, excited, cheerful and completely unaware of anything but this man, the one person that made her the happiest in the world. He was all she cared about. She tugged on his arm and pulled him away from the car and towards the playground. "Pleaaaaase?" He followed her as she ran across to the swings in the far corner of the playground and sat on one of them, smiling broadly. He started to give her a light tap on her back. She moved forward. Soon she was soaring through the air, higher and higher, faster and faster, happier and happier. And then everything went from white to red to a pitch black.
Light came gushing into her eyes, but not as soon as the tears, which came faster and in a surging bellow. Drop by drop, she shielded her eyes from the light. It was tough, trying to show indifference when you care so much more. She knew now that it was time to let go.
The fire needed more fuel. She went across to the storage and fed it some more. The wet parchment with black, typed writing was wedged in between the brown wood. She watched, again in silence, as the flames took over from there, dancing in shadows across her face, replacing her tears with a lighter feeling - redemption.

"Diamonds look horrible with mink scarves" they said.

Another year, another series of months, strings of days...chained together with one motto - survival. The world's not easy, nobody said it ever was. Competition, striving for more, money, power; it's all a part of our daily life, engraved into every nook and corner of this place we call Earth. Cities bustling and pouring with rapid energy, villages teeming with people trying to make something of themselves. Movement everywhere. And those that don't catch onto the fast pace get left behind to nothingness, maybe because they didn't succeed the way they were expected to, maybe because they didn't fulfill their goals, or maybe just because they didn't have goals to begin with.
For a life like that, it's not about now, it's about then, it's all about collecting and preserving for now, working hard for now, so that the later can be enjoyed to the fullest. Maybe it makes sense in some unearthly way, but why not enjoy the now and the then? Why not indulge in what exists in each second of time?
So in between the chaotic lifestyle of mankind, in the midst of this buzzing stampede we call life, I lay back and enjoy the moment as it exists, each one as it comes, each with its own savor, never once repenting, for in each of those moments I found life, true life.